“She’s 9 Going on 19” | Parenting Tweens

When parents say, “She’s 9 going on 19”, I  say “Wait until she’s 19, then we’ll talk”.

Tween girls vary greatly.  Some are wallowing in childhood while others just can’t wait to grow up.  That can make them easy to lead astray by older kids they’re trying to impress.

No tween girl (9-12 years) should be doing any of the following:

  • Social Media
  • Wearing Makeup
  • Dating

Moms often get caught up in shopping and mani-pedis with their little “girlfriends” rather than taking them to parks, skating rinks, etc.  Young girls need moms, not 35 year old girlfriends.  Of course it’s okay to take a 9 year old girl shopping, get mani-pedis, etc.  But mix that with some good old fashioned kid stuff to keep balance.

If you accelerate her childhood she could miss out on some important childhood milestones which help prepare her for those challenging teen years.

I know it’s tricky.  My daughter and I were both “born old” as my Mom used to say.  Never had tantrums, were always easy to reason with, even as toddlers.  Just had old souls.  Tough not to treat that type of child like a mini adult.

You may think your tween is really mature for her age, but just wait until the teen years hit and you see the difference.

Let your kids be kids for as long as possible.  Don’t rush it as it all goes too quickly anyway.

If you need help finding and balance, check out my coaching. 

Happy Parenting, Lisa.

Win a Child/Tween Summer Makeover

ENTER TO WIN:

 

“CHILD/TWEEN SUMMER MAKEOVER”

 

VALUED AT $297

 

imagesSummer is a great time to shake things up and give your family a fresh start.  By the time school starts your children will have higher self-esteem and more respect for you.

Anyone can learn these simple methods, you just need a system to follow to get them in place and running. The “4 Week Parenting Plan” is designed to educate, enlighten and support you through this process.

You can get this done in 4 weeks or spread it out over the Summer to accommodate vacations. The goal is to finish Summer with less stress, more respect and closer to your children than ever before.

BONUS:  30 minute Kickstart Coaching Session

 

How to enter:

  1. Sign up for my Newsletter (right panel) if not already signed up

  2. Join my Facebook & Twitter (right panel)

  3. Contact me and tell me why you would like to win the “Child/Tween Summer Makeover”.

  4. Contest ends July 5th at noon.  

 

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach

 

Easter Egg Hunt for Older Kids

imagesWhat do you do with tweens/teens on Easter?  Do they really want to run around hunting for eggs?  If so, then so be it, but if not, then check out what I did with my kids as they got older.

I’d have gifts or arrange to take them somewhere fun.  I’d make up egg shaped cards, each with a letter on it and hide them around the house.  Once the kids collected all the letters they had to arrange them to figure out what they were getting & where it was hidden or where we were taking them.  Examples:

 

W A T E R S L I D E   P A R K

              V I D E O   G A M E   I N   S H E D   B E H I N D   L A D D E R

 

… you get the idea.

You can get even more criptic with this and just give them clues to a video you made for them which explains what they’re getting, etc.  The longer it takes them to figure this out, the better.

My kids would be embarrassed if I told you how old they were when I was still doing this.  I’d be standing there laughing and taking videos of them hunting around for letters (haha).  Tons of fun … for me anyway :).

Lisa.

 “How to Survive the Easter Sugar Rush”

Perfect Child morphs into Snarly Tween

soccer ballQ:  Our perfect little 8 year old angel has turned into an argumentative moody defiant 9 year old?  First of all, what the heck is happening?  We’ve always been big on discipline and consequences but she’s fighting just about everything now.  Should we get tougher?  E.g., she says she doesn’t want to play soccer anymore but she’s always loved soccer.  Should we let her quit or force her to continue playing even though she’s no longer interested?

A:  Welcome to the tween years (9-12) which are good practice for the teen years.  It’s common for parents to get tougher when the kids start fighting back.  That can work, but it can also backfire big time.  I suggest you start to change the way you parent now to not only improve her behaviour in the short term, but also make sure the teen years flow as easily as possible.  You have to start giving her some control over her life.  Pick your battles carefully or you’ll lose them all.  It’s up to you to decide whether or not soccer is big stuff or little stuff.  I’d negotiate with her.  I’d say something like, “How about we make a deal?  You keep playing soccer for 4 more weeks then if you still want to quit, you can quit.”  Allow her to give you feedback and you may agree on a 2 or 3 week period.  The more kids/teens feel heard and understood and respected, the easier they are to be around.  Let me know how this goes.

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach
Phone:  604-944-7479
Email:  Lisa@BratBusters.com
 

Are Tweens/Teens Dressing too Sexy?

Here’s my column on how sexy young girls are dressing.  They’re not only getting attention from boys, but also from men … scary.

Take care of their education, nutrition, health AND image.  We don’t talk about image much when it comes to our children but how they project themselves is extremely important.  We know about that as adults but children can also be taught about how they present themselves to the world.

Hmmm … I feel another article coming on about image.

Lisa.

More about teens wearing too much makeup.