Do Grades Really Matter? | Parenting Education

A growing body of evidence suggests grades don’t predict success — C+ students are the ones who end up running the world.  

Quote is from a great article by Macleans:  “Do Grades Really Matter?”

Grades have become the yardstick by which children are often judged.  I mentored tons of struggling students and always told them it’s usually the worst students who end up running the world.  Not true but they loved hearing that I wasn’t obsessed with grades, took the pressure off and made them feel better about themselves.

I’m extremely opinionated on this subject and my opinions are often unpopular.  Pushing children academically is wrong.  I’ve known too many “gifted” children who turned into self-destructive teenagers.  It’s just not healthy to focus too much on academics.  Where’s the joy and happiness in life?  Where’s the fun?   Here’s a story of a mom trying to bully me over this.

Here were my priorities when raising my kids:

  1. Healthy & Fit
  2. Happy & Confident
  3. Polite & Nice
  4. Social
  5. Doing their best

If you look after the first 4, the 5th takes care of itself.  If kids are struggling at school then hire a tutor or ask the staff if there are free teacher sessions available.

If you are a confident leader for your children to look up to they will naturally want to do their best to make you proud.  If they don’t respect you, they don’t respect themselves, or school or anything.

If you want help learning how to get respect, check out my Coaching Page. 

Discipline and education go hand-in-hand.  Kids who aren’t disciplined at home are sure going to struggle more at school.  

I can’t remember ever having a conversation about homework with my kids, and I know I never helped them.  Their homework was just done after dinner then we’d all have fun doing something.  It was just one of the disciplines in their lives.  I was proud of their grades but all I fussed over was their good behaviour comments.

If you have self-discipline and do your best, you’re going to succeed.

What are your priorities with your kids?

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach

 

Education System & ADHD

This is a fascinating video.  It’s not just about the education system and ADHD, it’s about an entirely different way of thinking.

As I’ve grown, and hopefully matured and mellowed, I’ve gone from being a right fighter where everything was black and white, to an open minded listener who sees pretty much everything in the world as gray.  I’ve gone from that youthful mindset of thinking I knew everything to realizing I don’t know much at all, none of us do.

I’m drawn to people with open minds.  They’re usually the ones most excited by life.  They’re adventuresome, warm, easy to talk to and just plain interesting.  Some have degrees coming out the wazoo and others have no degrees at all.  Some are rich, others poor, but they all possess that extra layer that so many of us lose as we grow, that divergent thinking 5 year olds are so brilliant at (see above video at the 8:34 point).  I think as you age you can strive to hang onto that divergent thinking.

So, as parents, how do we raise our children to fit into society while also maintaining their divergent/creative thinking?  What if they’ve been diagnosed with a disruptive condition such as ADHD?  I’ve worked with many “Alphabet Kids” (is what I call the kids with all those initials after their name).  These kids think they’re stupid just because they don’t fit the mould … ugh … frustrates the heck out of me!!!  What mould?  Who wants a mould?!  Unfortunately the antequated education system that still exists right into 2012 is still trying to mould kids instead of encourage and support their natural talents.

Now, I’m going to back up a bit here as I’m not all about “let kids do whatever they want” type of learning.  I think that leads to kids with compromised self-discipline and a heightened sense of self-entitlement.  They still have to learn how to respect rules, manners, chores, people, animals, etc.  But as they grow, let them negotiate how their lives go.  If they’re really struggling is school which is like a jail sentence to them, then maybe look into home schooling, private school, or just having a meeting with the teacher and principal about how to make the experience at the current school more pleasant.  Keep in mind that schools have limited resources and a ton of kids to deal with so obviously can’t customize learning to fit the individual needs of each child.  But by letting them know you’re involved and willing to do what it takes to support them in helping your child, they’re much more willing to listen.

Hmmm, I feel like this blog is all over the place.  Will try to sum it up eloquently here … ha ha … we all know I’m not going to be able to do that so will just end by saying that parenting is about guiding and supporting, not moulding.

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach (604-944-7479)(Email:  lisa@bratbusters.com)