Co-sleeping & Breastfeeding in Public

Is it okay to co-sleep with your kids?  Does it matter?  I mean, is it a big deal?  No, it’s just personal preference.

Maybe there’s some medical warnings about rolling onto and smothering your kids but that’s pretty rare.

We co-slept with our daughter until she was 8 months old.  The only reason we did that was because she was so cuddly and just wanted to be held all night … ugh.

I don’t think either of us got a decent night’s sleep for those 8 months but she was happy so that’s all that matters … I guess.

I don’t understand why co-sleeping is such a heated topic?  It’s like breastfeeding in public.  Really?  Is that a big deal?

Except maybe extreme breastfeeding.  This just gives me the creeps.

So if you’re co-sleeping or public breastfeeding and someone tries to tell you it’s wrong, just smile and nod.  It’ll drive them nuts and shut them right up.

Happy Parenting,

Lisa

My Painful Breastfeeding Story

Lisa & SeanMy kids are grown but someone asked me the other day if I breastfed my babies. So, I thought this story may help you if you’re struggling with breastfeeding.

My son was my first born (an hour old in the pic) and just couldn’t latch on. I didn’t know that was possible as thought they just started feeding right away. He had such a poor sucking reflex that a nursing specialist visited our home several times/day trying to get him to latch on. He was getting a little bit but not much. The poor little guy was starving so I started pumping but was still determined to get him to breastfeed.

The nursing specialist was in tears one day as said she’d never seen nipples bleeding like that and a baby with such a poor sucking reflex. She said I could try a shield but that was even harder on the nipples.

Well, he latched on with the shield alright but I cried every single time I fed him for a week or 2 … the pain was unbelievable! I used that annoying shield for 6 weeks before finally tossing it aside and he latched right onto the breast.

I breastfeed for 10 months but he was so squirmy that he eventually weaned himself and loved the bottle as he could have it in his crib with all his toys around instead of just smashed up against boring old Mom.

I hated breastfeeding anyway so was thrilled when he weaned himself. I’m a fidgeting slightly hyperactive person so always felt trapped when breastfeeding. To make it easier for me to tolerate I learned to do it anywhere and everywhere: grocery shopping, walking, etc.

My daughter was born 5 years later and had the same poor sucking reflex but I just slapped her right on the shield before the bleeding nipples started so it wasn’t as painful. She was on the breast without the shield within a couple of weeks and I finally weaned her at 14 months. She’d have stayed on the boob for years if I’d let her but … no thanks!

I never had any interest in breastfeeding from an emotional perspective as was already super maternal and able to bond other ways.  But, I felt it was important to get them on the boob for convenience and nutritional reasons. Plus, I could eat more :).

Breast is best? I don’t know about that. But if it’s important to you to breastfeed and you’re struggling, I hope this blog has helped.

If you don’t want to breastfeed, then don’t bother. It’s not the be all and end all.

If you’d like some advice or help with parenting, contact me for a free consultation.

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach

 

1st Child in Bubble Wrap, 2nd Child not so much

mom and baby

Was just sitting here working in Starbucks and eavesdropping on a young couple talking to another young couple about all the safety devices they’ve bought for their babies:  video monitors, crib mat monitors, etc., etc.  Made me reflect upon how different I was with my 1st (Sean) and my 2nd (Amy).  Here are just a few examples:

 

 

Nap Time:

  • Sean:  I’d often just sit and watch him sleep with tears in my eyes.
  • Amy:  Don’t remember, was too busy racing Sean around to school, sports and activities.

Breastfeeding:

  • Sean:  Wonderful bonding time, would just sit and watch him feed … with tears in my eyes.
  • Amy:  Was often done on sidelines at Sean’s soccer, swimming, etc.

Walks:

  • Sean:  Proud to show off my new baby, “Look at him … isn’t he the most gorgeous baby you’ve ever seen!!!”
  • Amy:  Racing along trying to catch up with Sean who was riding ahead on some little wheelie thing.

Nighttime:

  • Sean:  Often got up throughout the night to make sure he was still breathing.
  • Amy:  Never got up throughout the night to make sure she was still breathing.

Now of course I loved them both equally, it’s just different with subsequent children as you’re experienced, you’re more busy.  What differences did you notice with subsequent children?  Were you disinfecting everything your first baby touched and letting your 4th play with knives?

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach
Office:  604-944-7479
Email:  Lisa@BratBusters.com

 

 

 

 

Are you criticized for Bottle Feeding instead of Breastfeeding?

If you are criticized for choosing to bottle feed your baby over breastfeeding, please send your critics to this blog, or print it out for them.

Shame on you for criticizing a mother for bottle feeding her baby. What’s your point? Did or are you breastfeeding and feeling very self-righteous?

New moms are naturally very sensitive. Partly hormones, sometimes nerves, often insecurities about doing everything right by baby. The last thing they need is you telling them they’re doing something wrong.

Mind your own business and stop bullying!

People who bully are doing so from a place of insecurities. Anyone with a speck of psychology training will tell you that. So the next time you bully a mom for not breastfeeding, you should be embarrassed about showing your own insecurities.

Grrrrr I hate bullying, especially toward children and new moms. And no, your intentions are not good. Once a new mom has chosen to bottle feed, there is no good intention in telling her she’s doing wrong by her baby. So don’t hide behind good intentions … that doesn’t cut it.

I breastfed my children but had lots of friends who bottle fed. Our oldest “babies” are now in their 20’s and I see no social, physical or psychology deformities in the ones who were raised on formula.

Lisa.

Baby Spits Up a LOT!!!

This is a common concern for moms. “Does my baby spit up too much?” My basic answer is that it’s not usually a problem so long as baby is gaining weight.

My son is 21 year old now but when a baby I just couldn’t believe how much he spit up. I’d try to explain it to people but they couldn’t believe it until they saw it. I wasn’t the least bit concerned as he was gaining weight. Plus, I have a hiatus hernia and also spit up a lot when a baby evidently. So, just assumed he had the same thing.

Sorry about the details here but as I grew out of the spitting up phase I ended up not being able to burp and rarely throw up, has been about 30+ years now. My son’s the same, nothing seems to come back up, air or substance.

Doctors will say the opposite, i.e., that a hiatus hernia will make you throw up more, just as with babies. But that’s sure not been the case with my son and I.

I highly recommend you have your frequently spitting up baby to doc for a thorough check before retiring your worries. But, once you’ve got the all clear then just keep a bib on baby all the time and don’t worry about the frequent spit-ups. Once up on their feet it usually stops completely.

In the meantime, keep them on a slight angle, head up, when laying down which will help. Burp frequently during feeding and don’t overfeed.

Lisa.