If your children/teens are not behaving themselves, stop making excuses and get working on positive results. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be.
Here are some common excuses parents use to avoid disciplining their children:
- middle child
- boys will be boys
- strong willed
- child of divorce
I’m not saying these distractions/challenges aren’t real, just that I don’t think they have much to do with behaviour. You just have to tweek how you discipline them to get positive results.
We divorced when my kids were 9 and 14. A couple of years later a principal said to me, not knowing I was divorced, “I can always spot children of divorce, they’re just damaged. Yours are the opposite. I can tell they come from a really good home.” What a stupid thing to say. I replied, “Yes, they do come from a really good home, which is also a divorced one. Don’t label children of divorce as damaged as sometimes parents who stay together cause more damage.” He turned about 3 shades of red.
I knew that divorce was hard on children, which is why I was so diligent in maintaining discipline. Divorce is hard enough, not being disciplined (having a strong leader) makes it even harder. As with other challenges.
Discipline = Love
My form of discipline (rules, manners and chores) is based on basic common sense then tweeked a bit depending on the child’s needs. Remember to meet their needs, manage their wants. Don’t wait, do it now. The longer you wait the harder it’s going to be.
I was going to put autism in the above list as have found my methods work beautifully with those children also, but that’s more specialized as you can’t discipline a child who isn’t even in your world. You have to find a way into theirs. But that’s another blog.
So stop making excuses and get busy disciplining. Start with my “3 Step Parenting Plan” which is on my Newsletter sign up. Note that I have updated it as was getting a lot of feedback about something not being clear. I argued that for ages before reading it one day and thinking, “Hmmm, this isn’t clear”. My bad, all fixed up.