STOP EXPECTING SCHOOLS TO PARENT!!!
I’m so sick and tired of defending this point!!! I’ve written many blogs, articles, done tons of TV and radio on this also. Yet I still feel so alone with this stance. I know I’m just one little person, but I thought I was making a difference. Now I just feel empty. I feel so frustrated that people are still expecting schools to parent.
What am I doing wrong? How else can I make this point??? I know I’m right about this.
Children’s morals, values, behaviour, character is the parents’ job. Teachers, coaches, bus drivers, etc. should only have to give gentle reminders to kids to behave themselves. When my kids started school I said to the principal, “If my kids ever step a toe out of line please don’t discipline them. Call me and I’ll deal with them.” He laughed but knew I meant it. And no, I never got a call.
I don’t know why the Langley school banned kindergarten students from touching others. But I’ll bet it’s not because they were all behaving beautifully toward each other. I’m guessing it’s because they have 1 or 2 students they can’t handle because their parents haven’t taught them how to be nice. They may have even gone to the parents asking them to correct their child’s behaviour and I’ll bet the parents were angry.
If I’m wrong about this specific incident, it doesn’t matter, this is a problem in most, if not all, schools. A few poorly behaved students ruining school for the masses. They may be aggressive, bullying, stealing, etc.
I never blame the kids, heck, I worked with those kids!!! I know them inside out, upside down. I love kids. But I also know what they need. They need leadership, guidance and self-respect. The most effective source is parents, it’s a shame when they have to turn to other people to get those basic needs met. I felt so sorry for the kids I worked with, especially the teens who were often in terrible trouble.
Am I blaming the parents? Yes and no. I’m blaming them if they don’t think their children’s behaviour is their responsibility, you betcha!!! But if they’ve just lost control and don’t know what to do … and want to make a change … then yippee!!!! I’m here for you, I’m cheering you on. You can do it!!! Go sign up for my newsletter as I have a Parenting Plan attached to that, or if you don’t want to wait, just email me and I’ll send it to you. That will give you a basic guideline of how to be calm and controlled leaders for your children to respect and want to please.
I used to frequently get letters from teachers and principals about my kids’ behaviour. They’d say, “I only wish all children were as nice and polite as yours are. They are a credit to your parenting.” My son’s Grade 2 teacher asked him, “Sean, why are you so nice?” His reply, “Mommy makes us be nice.”
They weren’t wonder kids born with some nice gene, I made them that way!!! I rewarded good behaviour, punished bad behaviour and was a fun and goofy mom who wallowed in them. They knew they were treasured but they also knew I would make sure they were accountable for their actions every single time, without fail. I had no special talents, just years of experience with kids before having my own. Working with troubled teens was my real training ground, they taught me more about people than any book ever could have.
You can get those same results. It’s easy once you get a plan in place and commit to it. Once you start getting results it gets easier and easier.
Don’t blame the school if kids are poorly behaved. They have hundreds of kids to deal with and they’re really there to teach them academics. Unfortunately they’re being forced to teach children about nutrition, sex and even manners … how sad. I didn’t want school or anyone else raising my kids, I wanted to do it. I wanted them to be raised with my ethics, manners, etc., not someone else’s. Why would you want others to raise your kids? It doesn’t make any sense???
Phew, I’m exhausted … that was probably my first rant and I’m having reservations. But I was just so freaking angry after that TV segment, angry that everyone else didn’t agree with me. Ha ha, I know they’re allowed their opinions but I was still shocked that they were blaming the school for the no touching policy. The fact that a school would have to impose such a ridiculous policy is just proof to me that parents are struggling more now than ever.
Okay … I’m done.Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach Phone: 604-944-7479 Email: Lisa@BratBusters.com
Email from Robert Axford: Lisa, I can’t agree with more. As you mentioned this morning on global, parents have to take more of the responsibility for how their children behave at school when it comes to “pushing” on the playground. I’m a retired elementary school teacher and remember how hard it was to deal with children who came to school with little respect for others or knowledge of how to behave.Kudos to you, Bob