Bullying a new mom is a pastime for some women. You know the types, they come across all sweet and helpful and walk away with that self-righteous cheshire grin on their face leaving you in a puddle of your own tears.
The conversation was focused on all of their perfections and your imperfections. You’re not even aware of it but you’ve just been bullied. You’re left asking yourself:
“Why isn’t my baby sleeping through the night like theirs is?”
“Why is my gut hanging over my pants instead of being tight as a trampoline like theirs is?”
“Why isn’t my husband massaging my feet every night like theirs is?”
The reality for most new moms is as follows:
The odds of a new mom not having at least 2 of those symptoms are slim to none.
Flashback to 1990: I joined a new mom and baby play group with my 6 months old son. No one knew each other and we were all sitting around trying to keep our fussy babies quiet. I said, “Has anyone else ever worn the same clothes covered in spit up for 2 days straight?”
Turns out I was the only one but another said she hadn’t washed her hair for 2 weeks. And another couldn’t wear shorts as had forgotten how to shave.
If you’re not surrounded by such moms, then keep searching as they’re out there. You may have to start the ball rolling but once it does it almost becomes a competition of who’s the worst mom.
Parenting is fun, not fun, vulnerable, tiring and just about every other emotion under the sun. Accept it and stop second guessing yourself. You’re just as good, and bad, as the rest of us.
Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach