New Age Parenting … Toss It!

I spend so much time erasing all the new age parenting stuff with clients.

It’s frustrating as I don’t understand why it ever even became popular?  It doesn’t make any sense???

What is New Age Parenting?  There are many different definitions out there, but here’s mine:

  • Praising children for everything, e.g., trophies for doing nothing more than participating
  • Not making children accountable
  • Few or no boundaries
  • Raising self-entitled young people
  • No discipline

What happens is that kids get out of control and parents end up yelling out of frustration.  So then we have a society of new age parents who’ve tried being friends with and reasoning with their kids and are now yelling at them?  It’s all very confusing, kids don’t know where to turn.

Parents have to set themselves up as leaders.  They can still be friends with their kids, but they are leaders first and foremost.  Kids without parent leaders turn to peers for guidance.

Parents who aren’t leaders don’t get respect and they’re so confused as they’ve given their children all these choices, trophies and tried to please them.  They can’t figure out what’s gone wrong.

I heard a mom at the store say to her tween, “Why are you so mean to me, I’ve given you everything!”  She just asked and answered her own question in one sentence.  

What’s gone wrong is that new age parenting is weak and ineffective.  Even parents who get along with their new age kids often find themselves in trouble when the kids hit puberty as those kids are much more easily lead by their peers.

If you are a fair and consistent leader for your children, I guarantee you will get respect.  Once you have that, parenting is a joy, even through the teen years.  I’m not just talking about myself, I’ve helped tons of parents become leaders.  It’s a skill anyone can learn, so long as they’re ready to throw out all that new age thinking.

If you’re struggling with your kids and want help, check out my coaching page.  

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach