Children with high self-esteem have confidence in their value to their family, friends and themselves. They never bully others and are rarely bullied themselves. They are generally polite, nice and easy to be around. They like themselves.
Social confidence isn’t always associated with high self-esteem. I’ve met teens who were voted most popular in school yet attempted suicide as they saw themselves as worthless.
Bullying is a sign of low self-esteem. I’ve worked with a lot of bullies and the one question I ask that often brings them to tears is “Do you like yourself?” The answer is always “no”.
So how do you raise children with high self-esteem? It’s easy, you just teach them how to respect themselves and others. You set rules, boundaries and consequences so they have a way to build up their self-esteem. Then you consistently keep this evolving and changing throughout the years to suit their development.
The key is to stay calm and in control of yourself. If you can’t control yourself how on earth are you going to control your children?
The #1 soul destroying, self-esteem wrecker is YELLING. Every single kid/teen I’ve worked with has said they’d rather be spanked than yelled at.
Imagine if you went to work and your boss yelled at you? How would it make you feel? What if he yelled at you every day? What if he yelled at you every day for years and years? This is what a lot of children go through with their parents. These are the kids who turn into wild teens. I’ll usually ask the parents of delinquent teens if they yelled at them growing up and you can guess how they answer.
So stay calm and be a leader/mentor for your children, their high self-esteem will carry them right throughout their lives.
If you’d like to learn how to get started being a leader for your children, sign up for my Newsletter and get my “3 Step Parenting Plan” training for free.
Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach