You know the kids. They’re the ones who yell instead of talk; bang into you instead of watching where they’re going; shove their way to the front of the line; whine when they don’t get their own way; etc., etc.
There were such kids at a cafe I was trying to work in today. As annoying as they were I looked around for their parents who weren’t hard to find, they were the ones yelling, barging in front of people and complaining about this, that and the other.
Those poor kids don’t have a chance of ever being likable and it’s not even their fault.
If a child whines when alone, does he make a sound?
That would never happen as kids don’t whine when alone. It’s only done to get a reaction.
Authoritative should be your goal. Not just because I’ve been preaching it but because it’s been proved to turn out the most well adjusted, confident, independent and productive kids.
The key difference between Authoritarian and Authoritative is that the Authoritative Parent listens and can be reasoned with.
Kids raised with discipline turn into teens/adults with self-discipline. But, if that ship’s already sailed, an effective technique I passed onto violent teens was to simply smile & nod when angry.
Too simplistic? Let me explain. When a teen starts to boil over and is about to explode they need some way of letting off steam. Smiling and nodding can be done is a very sarcastic, condescending manner which appeals to the snotty teen brain and makes them feel superior. It’s a lot better than punching, yelling, swearing, throwing things, etc. They need something … just give them the snotty smile and nod with no reproach.
There are so many worse things than spanking your children. Like not providing them with discipline (rules, structure, boundaries, etc.).