Almost all of the parents I work with are highly intelligent, successful and confident. They’re stunned that they’re having problems with their kids because they’re so good at everything else. The reason their kids are challenging them is usually because they’re Bossy Friends instead of Leaders.
So what’s a Bossy Friend? It’s a parent who tries to be friends with their kids but when the kids get out of hand they become bossy and often yell and just lose it because the kids won’t listen to them.
I was definitely friends with my kids but I was the Leader first and foremost. Once you get that figured out, let the friendship and fun and happiness roll right through the teen years. You just have to exercise your leadership every so often to remind them who’s in charge.
Being in charge isn’t about telling them what to do, being bossy or “demanding” respect. It’s about being a calm leader, trustworthy, consistent, predictable and always willing to listen. You give respect to get it.
So what are you putting first? Friendship or leadership? Think about it, it’s important.
Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach
Note: Coaching probably isn’t what you think it is. It’s not about telling me how you got where you are. I don’t work that way at all. I just work on moving you forward in a positive direction, it’s all goal and results driven. For more on coaching.